what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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