you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
