Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
