My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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