I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
