the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
