its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
