when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
