How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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