I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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