I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
