if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He felt like a one man threesome
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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