I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
