I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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