She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
