tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
