she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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