you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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