Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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