Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
