just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize