I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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