I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
