i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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