Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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