So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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