I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
