I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize
