Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
