well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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