I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I've blown a few things in my day
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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