Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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