There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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