We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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