your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
