At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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