Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
