she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
