i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
