Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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