So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
