So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Where is the hickey?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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