You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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