Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
