And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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