Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
