have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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