ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
