Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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