i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
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