it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
