Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
