I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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