god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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