Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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