Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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