He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
